Recently, I saw an interesting Tweet: It’s interesting how everybody has an opinion yet very few have basic knowledge. Boom!
It reminded me of an old saying: An opinion is like an asshole, everybody has it. Isn’t that true? It is a fact, yet it is really unpleasant when people have an opinion about you although they know nothing about you and they can’t possibly know what you should do let alone have a right to have an opinion about what should you do with YOUR life. No. It’s simply unacceptable and undesirable regardless of the excuses that “it is for your greatest good”.
No. Likewise, you can’t allow yourself to have an opinion about someone else’s life, by that I mean especially your children – they are not here to make your dreams come true but their own. Parents are here to be the wind in the wings of our children and not a weight or a puppet master – a child is not our project.
The other day I saw an article on the internet about Kintsugi – a beautiful Japanese art form of fixing broken ceramic with gold, silver and titan aloe. The motto is: if something is broken, it doesn’t mean is lost. Our scars do not mean you’re broken. They are proof that you are healed. This beautiful technique of fixing broken dishes gives those destroyed objects a “new life”.
“Kintsugi opposes the need to repair the object so that it can’t be seen that it was even broken. The idea behind its concept is that after repairing with the Kintsugi technique, the object will be better than new because its history will be highlighted.”
We are the same. Just try to picture it, please. Imagine that we all are like this beautiful broken dishes and our wounds are shining with golden or different (as many as there are) beautiful patches. aren’t the most broken people who managed to get themselves together, and their scars have given them patina and a kind of pedigree? They are to me.
Compassion can be practiced and then it brings us more compassion and understanding others as well as ourselves. Empathy is something we are born with, it comes as a piece of basic equipment, it can be trained and by that we can update our OS (Operation system). I like to compare people with computers. For example, someone’s OS can read Floppy discs and someones is a Mini USB. Get it? Everything depends on how much inner work a person does.
There is a beautiful technique where you just need to pronounce the sentence: this too is me. Ar the beginning of this year I went for coffee in a coffee place across the street of a hospital in Zagreb. It was full. My friend and I found a place and my noisy chihuahua was jumping up and down from our laps but when she saw an elderly man pull out a pastry, she went to him and stood on his lap with her front two legs. The man had a nervous breakdown:
- Get that animal off of me!
The old me would enter a fight with him. The old me couldn’t wait for an opportunity for a verbal fight and an opportunity for bickering. That time I remembered this technique and tried it: This too is me. I have been rude and cranky to strangers. Who knows what bothers him? Maybe his wife is under a difficult medical procedure right now or his child is battling to survive? Maybe his car has been picked up for wrong parking together with it all… I was repeating in my mind: this too is me, I am like him sometimes. I sympathized with him. In only a few minutes, the man got up and left the coffee place. I didn’t descend to his vibration of conflict and he couldn’t do anything but to leave. That is how this universe functions; two different vibrations can’t be next to each other. it’s pure physics, try it, it really is wonderous!
People are as fragile as glass or ceramic cutlery. Some of us are fragile Christal glasses and others are more like a ceramic dish, but all of us have scars. Be kind to people. Who knows what are they battling with? Treat people as you would like to be treated. You can’t go wrong if you start with yourself.
- Anđa Marić